Not My Monkeys...Not My Circus
Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears
is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own.”
Proverbs 26:17 NIV
Ever tried grabbing a random dog by the ears? Exactly. Not a great idea. That’s the picture this proverb gives us. Jumping into situations that don’t belong to us is not just unhelpful, it’s risky and messy. We’ve all been there. You see the situation clearly. You know what should be done. You care about the people involved and you want a better outcome. You’re solution-oriented, ready to step in and fix it. Here’s the hard truth - not everything that concerns you is assigned to you.
People do what they want to do. If they wanted to change, they would. If they wanted to make a different choice, they could. When we rush in to fix things, we can unintentionally take away their responsibility and accountability. This may be their opportunity to grow, to learn, or even to face the consequences that might lead them to God. We are not meant to carry the weight of everyone’s problems. We are not called to manage every mess. What concerns you may not be assigned to you.
Have you ever heard someone say - Not my monkeys, not my circus. People say this to mark a boundary. Those crazy little out of control monkeys can live rent free in your head. They can take your peace, destroy your progress and even enjoy being there. The tent isn’t big enough for everyone the monkeys try to pull inside. There are too many acts, too much noise, too much chaos. It overwhelms you. It pulls your mind into overdrive, leaving your nervous system stuck on high alert. Eventually, what once felt chaotic starts to feel… normal. Here is the kicker….the monkeys didn’t want to be controlled or lead. They wanted attention. They wanted to be fed, feel important, entertained and manipulated the tent for their enjoyment.
Those “monkeys” aren’t yours… they’re God’s. Every person, every situation, every struggle ultimately belongs in His hands, not yours. You were never meant to be the ringmaster…He is.
When we try to take over, we end up stressed, overwhelmed, and tangled in things God never asked us to carry. When we step back, we allow God to do what only He can do; work in hearts, change lives, and handle what is beyond us.
As Christians, we are called to care but not to carry what isn’t ours. There’s a difference between loving people and living in their chaos. We can support without solving. We can show compassion without fueling dysfunction. We can be present without becoming entangled.
Because here’s what happens when we don’t set those boundaries: we get weighed down by other people’s drama, it fills our minds, drains our energy, and distracts us from what God is trying to do in our lives.
Sometimes, stepping back isn’t neglect but trust. Trust that God is working in their life just like He’s working in yours. Trust that He doesn’t need you to control the situation to accomplish His will.
A ship overloaded with unnecessary weight won’t reach its destination. In the same way, if you carry every problem, every conflict, every piece of drama around you, it will slow you down or sink you altogether.
So, keep your mind clear. Stay in your lane. Let God be the ringmaster. Care deeply. Show up when it is your responsibility. When it’s not? Love from afar.
Because sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is step back and say,
“Not my circus… God’s got the monkeys!”
Reflection: When the circus comes to town, pause and ask the Lord for discernment. Does it involve you? Is it within your control? How will this affect my peace? Do I have enough energy for this? Is this petty drama or something crucial I need to be part of? Those are important questions to ask before jumping in.
Prayer: Thank you Lord for always being ready for the front row seat of our circus shows. Lord, give me the wisdom to know what is mine to carry and the humility to release what is not into Your hands. Help me to care for others with compassion without becoming entangled in what only You can control. Remind me daily that You are the ringmaster, and I can trust You with every situation I place before You. Thank you for dealing with those pesty monkeys! Praise be to the 3:1.
Keep Praying,
Lesley Henry